KHLOE AND LAMAR – 2/20/12

Part 1

Khloe and Lamar’s second season began with a quick recap of all the current Kardashian drama – Kim and Kris’s tragic divorce, Khloe’s pregnancy issues, and Kris Jenner’s struggle to make this family as much money as possible. Albeit their difficult and oh-so-tragic struggles, Khloe is counting her blessings because her and Lamar are still in their honeymoon phase. Is this really surprising? Haven’t they only known each other for a year?

We quickly catch up on Khloe and Lamar’s life and each of their closest friends. First, Rob Kardashian, who is finding his own identity on Dancing with the Stars. Next, he’ll need to find his manhood. Then, Malika, Khloe’s bestie who is milking her “5 Minutes of Fame” being friends with the Kardashian ladies. And last, Lamar’s bestie who resembles someone you’d find in a biker bar that hasn’t showered in a week. These two are like Beavis and Butthead.

Lamar and Khloe start off the episode by licking each other repeatedly… And suddenly I’m wishing I hadn’t eaten before watching. Lamar surprises Khloe in bed and pretends to be a vampire. If only he looked more like Taylor Lautner… Then, he tells Khloe to take him to the Kasbah. Or the Cat’s Bar. I’m honestly not sure what the fuck he’s talking about. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t take her to either of these places on camera.

Luckily, this is followed up with a montage of Khloe and Lamar getting it on all over their mansion. Again, file this under “Things I Could Do Without Seeing.”

The movers arrive at their house to pick up the remainder of Rob Kardashian’s belongings. Lamar is all “emo-15 year old girl” because he and Rob were extremely tight. He even does a little fairy dance to show us what Rob is up to on Dancing with the Stars.

Malika and Khloe visit Rob in his new apartment with a housewarming gift – a cutting board/serving dish. Rob is completely confused and doesn’t know what this is. I find myself amazed by his stupidity, but guess this is typical Kardashian retardedness. Rob explains his frustrations. He always went to Lamar’s Laker games, but Lamar hasn’t visited him on Dancing with the Stars. Clearly Rob does not understand that Dancing with the Stars is not anywhere near as important as an NBA game.

Cut to a scene from Dancing with the Stars, where the entire Kardashian clan is cheering Rob on, except for Lamar! Maybe because he’s the only family member with a real career? The whole family cheers Rob on, while Kris Jenner is wondering how she can get her ass on next seasons cast.