Last night’s episode of Khloe and Lamar was all about their big move to Dallas and Khloe’s struggles with making Lamar happy. While Lamar was adjusting to his new life in Dallas, Khloe was finishing up packing at the Khlam Shack with her family. Kris and Bruce stopped by to have an emotional moment and Bruce gives Khloe her first cowboy hat, which definitely means she’ll fit in down in Dallas!

Khloe wants to fall apart and cry, but she has her mom, Kris, to play that role. Kris just wants a minute with Khloe to be emotional. Just the three of them, and Kris’s 30 lb. earrings. Kris and Bruce bicker about leaving, acting like Khloe is being shipped away to college in China and not returning home until Thanksgiving. What’s the over under on when they’ll all be in Dallas visiting? A week?

Khloe is all packed up and ready to go. She’s anxious, but excited to see her Lammy! Little does she know that Lammy is being a cranky little bitch … Continue reading →

Looking back at my notes from last night’s episode of Khloe and Lamar is reminding me of the notes I took in class in college… Completely useless and a waste of my time. Why, you might ask? Because last night’s episode of Khloe and Lamar was similar to watching paint dry. Watching them anxiously wait to find out where Lamar was being traded, when all of America knew where he was going, was fuc*ing brutal.

Personally, when Lamar was traded to the Mavericks the first time, I didn’t give a $hit. Did anyone? And watching it again? Just as boring.

Maybe I need to write a letter to Seacrest and his production team. It would go something like this:

Dearest Ryan, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with your audience and the people that watch Khloe and Lamar. Well, let me fill you in. They’re women. Women who do not care about the NBA trades. Women who do not care about the lockouts. Frankly, I don’t understand all that jazz and I have … Continue reading →

I’m back from vacation! Secretly, I wish I was still there because watching Khloe and Lamar has recently felt like watching paint dry. And very slowly.

The episode kicks off with Lamar and Rob messing around in the kitchen because they’re so bored. I have an idea! Get a job. Lamar decides to drink a raw egg, because he and Rob think it’ll make him stronger. Really, it’s going to give him salmonella and the runs. I know from experience. Lamar must think he’s Gaston from Beauty and the Beast drinking raw eggs. I’m not sure who’s the beauty and who’s the beast though. This is a tough one. Rob is frustrated because he’s bored and needs to come up with a routine for his days. Again, get a job.

Khloe and Malika arrive home and catch Lamar and Rob playing hangman and baking. The conversation quickly heads to a dark and disgusting place… Lamar suggests that putting an egg yolk on your “thing” is the best lube. My dinner is now in my … Continue reading →